Rest is Deserved, not Earned

Where are all of my eldest daughters, over achievers, people pleasers, productivity=love and people who can’t sit still without thinking of their to-do list friends at? This one is for you.

More often than not, productivity is what is highlighted, celebrated and accepted as what you should do in your free time by society or those around you. We be default tend to congratulate those who never sit down, those who “push through” their pain or “suffer in silence” because we value that as achievements instead of placing the highest value on recovery, taking a step back, asking for help and spending a day doing things you love instead of what you “have” to. This tends to mold us into becoming pressured to constantly achieve or be accepted by others by pressuring ourselves into pushing past the point of burn out or until we are too ill to keep up with everything around us.

When we do get sick or fall mentally ill from pressing too hard for too long, we then feel guilty for taking any time to rest and recover because it feels so foreign to enjoy or take a moment of pause, we become too comfortable in the rush of life that we forget how to slow down and actually enjoy living.

I need you to know, that just by existing and getting out of bed everyday, that is enough. You do not have to complete every task possible to be loved or accepted. To be honest, no one actually cares enough about what you do with your free time to warrant giving them authority to decide whether prioritizing your needs is acceptable or not. Who deemed society as the true ruler in forcing you to choose whether you sit for fifteen minutes or chug some caffeine and press on? Why are we giving up our own choices and free will to that of others who don’t actually care if you are happy and healthy or not? It feels so good to be needed, accepted and applauded, but why would you want to applaud the habits that lead someone to an early grave?

As a community and society, we should be lifting one another up, encouraging slow moments to actually enjoy the little things such as tasting your coffee instead of guzzling it down for survival. We should be okay with asking for help, instead of feeling like a burden for asking for something. Our to do list should consist of moments to breathe, being in nature and activities that we look forward to, instead of dread.

Your energy is expensive. Why waste it on things that just want to suck it away instead of treating it as though you are giving something your greatest gift by using it?

I’m not saying throw all responsibilities out the window and never do anything you need to again, but find ways to add rest into your life. This doesn’t mean you have to lay on the couch for an hour, unless that is what restores you, but it means add things that brings restoration to your soul instead of steals it. If your list is chores, can you add something to it such as listening to a podcast, favorite music, or breaking it up into smaller chunks instead of trying to shove through it all at once? Can you shut off your phone for fifteen minutes and listen to calming music instead before moving onto your next task? Can you walk a little slower in the grocery store, outside or at your kid’s sporting event just to help slow your heart rate and notice the world around you?

I know you are busy and feel as though you barely have time to just get dressed most days, but pause for a moment and look at your day, where can you add small glimmers? Where can you add moments you look forward to, instead of just moments of dread? Can you add a break at work where you walk down the hall for two minutes and do some restorative breathing? Can you sit outside during your lunch and be off your phone? Can you plan to chat with a friend on your drive to run errands? Life moves so fast, it passes whether you are running yourself into the ground or not, so why not try to add some moments to enjoy it?

You deserve rest.

You deserve restoration habits.

You do not have to work for or earn them, you deserve them simply by breathing.

I encourage you to take a moment this week and try to add three moments of rest, glimmers or slowness into your life. Once you start, slowing down becomes a habit that you never want to stop.

You are loved, just as you are. You do not need to tackle the world to earn love, rest or happiness. It’s right in front of you, waiting for you, you get to choose whether you get to have it or not, I hope you do.